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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29239953">In Caes of Disastur</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rednightmare/pseuds/rednightmare'>rednightmare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Documents, Extended Canon, Gen, Letters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:08:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29239953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rednightmare/pseuds/rednightmare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry does the responsible thing—just in case—and writes his will. </p><p>A short, silly, supplementary document scrapped from a much longer project. Free-standing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Caes of Disastur</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was originally written for use in <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23350606/chapters/55941574">FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD</a> during the early stages of its planning, but I’ve since turned the plot in a different direction, and it just doesn’t fit anymore. That said, it was really fun to research late <a href="http://campus.belmont.edu/honors/WILLBIBHOME.htm">medieval wills</a> and it was fun to write, so I’ve stopped racking my wormy brain for a way to repurpose it and simply slapped it up here. It’s just a silly little thing, plotless and riddled with Henry spelling errors, not meant to be taken too seriously.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>IN THE NAME OF GOD AMEN</p><p> </p><p>and in the very unhappy event of my awfuyl death by sword, sickness, falling, cryshing, drowning, goring, lyghtnyng-striking, kattle-stampeding, choking on my supper, or other kalamity unforseen,</p><p>I—HENRY, born of SKALITZ, Infantryman of the Rattay garrison—make my will in this way:</p><p> </p><p>FIRSTLY I give my body to be buried in Skalitz, upon my family homestede and with the permission of His Lordship Sir Radzig Kobyla of Skalitz, if God shall allow me to end my life in a manner fit for burying. Pleas lay me (or my various bones and lymbs) at my parents’ feet outside the smithy kottage below Skalitz Castle and beneath the big linden tree. (Sir Radzig knows the one I mean.)</p><p>If my body should be deemed too maimed and scattered about for burying, pleas kindly try to get my head, at least. If you cannot get my head, then I would like the fine arming sword given to me by Sir Hanush of Leipa buried in my stead, and a marigold planted upon it. And maybe the old green tunic my ma stitched for me. (You will recognize my sword for its inskription AD MELIORA. You will recognize the tunic among the belongings in my trunk in Castle Pirkstein Lodge because of its oldness and because it really is very green.)</p><p>SECONDLY I leave one third of my saved wages to my good frend and naybor Goodwife Antonia, Maid of Castle Pirkstein, and her husband Nikolaus, so that she might hire an apothecary to come look after his whistly lungs every so often without working her poor fingers to the bone.</p><p>The second third I leave to my dear frend Johanka of Skalitz (now of Sasau) so that she might tend to the sick under her care, and also so she might buy herself some better shoes that don’t have little holes along the seams. I don't think it's right to ask someone to clean up spittle and blood and the piss of the dying if you won't even pay them proper enough to buy good shoes. Forgive me for saying a cheeky word against the monastery and in such an official document but that is just how I feel.</p><p>The remainder of my savings I leave to young Adam of Skalitz (now of Rattay) in memory of his sister Bianca (GOD SAVE HER SOUL) who circumstances otherwise should have been my wife.</p><p>THIRDLY my horse (gelding, gray of eight years) named PEBBLES I leave to the care of Millmaid Theresa, niece of Miller Peshek of Rattay, on the sole condition her uncle <span class="u">DO</span> <span class="u">NOT</span> <span class="u">SELL</span> <span class="u">HIM</span>. If Theresa should like to sell him then she and <span class="u">SHE</span> <span class="u">ALONE</span> as the <span class="u">SOLE</span> <span class="u">PROFITEER</span> should do so to Mistress Zora of Neuhof, who should note that he takes his carrots peeled.</p><p>To Theresa I also leave my silver ring with a daysy on it and all of my pressed flowers.</p><p>(One more note on this: To whomever has Pebbles, I leave his saddle with saddlecloth, bridle and bit, his braided halter, hoof pick, and favorite combs, but not the scratchy brown one he doesn’t like, which can be given to some donkey or something.)</p><p>Also to Master Executioner Hermann of Rattay—my first real frend in the whole city and who is as close to family as I now have—I leave all my clothing and good boots, as they should be of close enough size to fit him well, excepting the set I am to be buried in (among these my red scarfe). To his wife Elishka of Rattay I leave all my dishwayre and cutlery, especially my best two knives, and my fine wooden chair, and my bowl carved with an otter on it. It is my hope that if she should ever find herself with child someday soon and needs a cozy place to sit, then lacking a dowry or a family to go with it, she might at least have that good chair. Maybe she might even give the little bowl to the child when it's big enough and tell him or her it was passed down from Cousin Henry. I am getting awfully ahead of myself here, I think.</p><p>Also to my frends Jakub, Marc, and Ginger (all Grooms of Neuhof) I leave my kit of steel razors, my oaken box with painted ivy, and my cloth bag with all my playing dice in that order. To Mistress Zora, who was very kind to me and whom I would always buy my warhorses from if I were a lord who had even one hair of an idea about what he was doing, I leave my embroidered satchel with all my stick pins and best whetstones. I don't know what on Earth use she has for a blacksmith’s stick pins, but I am running out of valuable possessions and I still have all sorts of people who were kind to me.</p><p>Also to my frends the brothers Janek and Jaroslav, Guardsmen in service to His Lordship Sir Radzig Kobyla, I leave my winter cloaks and three sets of mittens, my red stag’s pelt, and my hunting dagger. It gets very drafty on that tower wall early in the morning and I shouldn’t like to think of them catching cold or having their ears frostbit.</p><p>Also to my frend Matthias of Skalitz, Groom of Sasau Stable, I leave my riding hood, my best leather gloves and all other personal riding gear, excepting my spurs of gold, which shall be returned to Lord Capon along with my armor.</p><p>To His Lordship Hans Capon I also leave my diaries and assorted paepers, <span class="u">NOT</span> <span class="u">FOR</span> <span class="u">READING</span> <span class="u">PURPOSES</span>, but solely so that he might commit them to burning <span class="u">IMMEDIATELY</span> by a very hot fire until ashen.</p><p>To His Lordship I also leave my ring of gold with a dear on it, in eternal affection, and partly in thanks for the aforesaid paepers-burning.</p><p>The remainder of my worldly possessions I bekeeth to the Rattay treasory in hopes that my liege lord Sir Hans shall distribute them according to his discretion and his pleasure. I humbly request that His Lordship dedicate any sum from the sale of my belongings, half to Father Simon of Rovna that he may use it to care for his parish and half to the Skalitz rebuilding fund, presumeyng there should ever be one.</p><p> </p><p>I, Henry born of Skalitz, of sound mind and under the sight of God Almighty here do sign this my will.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>x Henry</em>
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